Plans for a new ¡°bigger and better¡± Trump University in the contested territory of Greenland have received a cool reception from academics after details of the so-called Harvard of the North were inadvertently revealed.

In another embarrassing leak likely to cause further blushes at the White House, plans for a multimillion-dollar campus were disclosed to?Times Higher Education?after its Greenland correspondent Snowy Snowssen was accidentally included on a Signal chat involving?vice-president J.D. Vance,?education secretary?Linda McMahon?and several high-level intelligence officials.

According to the messages ¨C which have sent shockwaves through US academia and the foreign policy community ¨C officials are keen to revive the defunct Trump University brand in Greenland¡¯s capital city of Nuuk as part of a charm offensive ahead of a potential annexation of the Arctic territory.

¡°You probably wondered why I was in Greenland recently,¡± wrote a senior Vance staffer on the exchange, adding: ¡°Two words ¨C Trump University.¡±

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¡°The woke mob running US colleges can never be trusted to uphold free speech, nor can the Musk-hating never-Trumpers in freeloading Europe. Greenland is our only option,¡± he added.

Some White House staffers felt Columbia University could be forced to establish a Greenland outpost?under a reconciliation deal?but senior MAGA figures have successfully pushed for a more radical plan: the return of Trump University, the real estate sales venture operated by the Trump Organization until 2011 when it was forced to close amid multimillion-dollar lawsuits from disgruntled students.

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¡°The Trump brand is hotter than ever ¨C our base can¡¯t get enough of our memecoin, perfume and Trump steaks so higher education is the next logical move,¡± said one high-ranking DoE official. ¡°Putin will probably want to send us some Russian students who won¡¯t mind the cold,¡± he added.

With White House officials keen for a high-profile MAGA figure to lead the institution, there are rumours that the president¡¯s 19-year-old son Barron Trump could be handed the role, with one-time wrestling tycoon Linda McMahon tapping up old friends as founding faculty.

¡°When the weather is 40 below zero, ¡®Stone Cold¡¯ Steve Austin is a go-to guy, while we know the Undertaker and Randy Savage will bring so much to the ¡®Tufts of the Tundra.¡¯¡±

With tensions high over Trump¡¯s expansionist foreign policy, some senior American professors have questioned whether the planned campus could inflame geopolitical tensions.

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¡°Most people will welcome the investment but I¡¯d question whether Barron really needs a branded 30-storey Trump Tower to house his administrative staff,¡± said Leif Eriksson, from Vinland Applied School of Diplomacy.

However, Yuva Binhad, a senior analyst from the Foolersome Institute, applauded the vision shown by White House staffers.

¡°Time and time again the Antifa extremists have sought to push their DEI and woke insanity on campus ¨C America needs a new university to fight back against the mind virus of cultural Marxism and Greenland is surely the place to start.¡±